Tuesday 19 July 2011

Shadows && Fear; Night-time Torture.

If this goodbye is forever; I pray you remember the good and not the bad, I hope you re-write all the happy and forget about all the sad, I wish for you to remember the love and not the hate and realize that sometimes bad things are just fate.
 More and more, suicide is looking like the only way out, I can't think straight, can't focus, the best of everything is to just sleep, and night-time sleeping is not happening because of the thoughts, of the shadows, and the sounds and song.. 
One, Two; He's coming for you
Three, Four; Better lock the door
Five, Six; Grab a crucifix
Seven, Eight; Better stay up late
Nine, Ten; Never sleep again
This shouldn't be happening, I don't even believe in this stuff, just good things to make films about.. I keep telling myself it's not real and the shadow pauses and the floor shifts, like I can believe it.. this is real.. I cannot see it another way.. Too much fear held so near..

I just want to die, I just want to die, I just want to die.

It's too late for help now. 
There coming for me, and it's my time.
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2 comments:

  1. Lily3 August 2011 at 09:19

    I'm new to your blog, so I don't know your story, but I do know what it's like to want to die... to feel like that's the only way you will ever feel better or even stop feeling at all.

    Nothing anyone said to me during that time ever made me feel better, so I don't know what I could say to you... just that I understand.

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  2. Shadow27 June 2012 at 05:54

    hey sweety, I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and rape too, i know how you feel but believe me you can and are strong enough to carry on with your life :)
    love,
    Shadow

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